Monday, October 30, 2006
The First Dream
I just wanted to record this in case later on it turns out to have some meaning. Last night, I had the strangest dreams. I had trouble sleeping and woke up several times. Once I woke up after having a dream about a beautiful little Chinese baby girl. It was so odd. Two men were carrying her around on this stretcher-cot-thing. I found this picture that sort of explains the concept. In my dream it was similar to this but with no bottom. Just one man in the front and one at the back carrying this beautiful little sleeping baby. She was dressed in a beautiful red silk brocade outfit and was very regal almost like she was royalty. There were two other very beautiful Asian women standing near dressed like geishas. With the elaborate hair-dos, face paint and silk kimonos. (I know that geishas are Japanese. I can't control my subconcious.) These two men were searching for this baby's mother. And then I woke up. Very strange.
Later I dreamt again. This time I was in someone's living room with my daughter. There were people on the couch. The room didn't look familair to me and the faces on the couch were a blur but in the dream it felt familiar to me. Like these people were family or friends that we were visiting. My daughter was maybe 3. She was standing up and had hair to her shoulders. She said a 4 word sentence. Now that I'm awake, I can't remember what it was but it was a question that started with the word "Do". The second word was an extra word that didn't belong in the sentence. Sort of like how toddlers speak, interpreting speech in their own way but still getting the point across. I was very proud of her and commented to the people about how smart she was becoming, being able to start forming complete sentences. I was standing next to her and tousled her hair when I said that. Then I bent down and kissed her cheek and hugged her shoulders. She had a big smile on her face, basking in her mother's praises and affection. And then I woke up.
The first dream was confusing and made me feel sad and a little scared. The second dream was comforting and filled my heart with love as if my daughter were already home and a part of my life. I imagine it's the same feelings I'll have when I truly am her mother. It was nice. I have no idea what this means or if it means anything at all. But it's the first dream I've had of my daughter. And I feel that it's important to record it in case later on this day somehow is important. Maybe she was born today. Or maybe my subconscious is just feeling the stress of waiting for this month's long overdue referrals. Or maybe I just ate something that made me feel out of sorts all night. Who knows... Whatever the case may be, it is now documented.