Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Questions Answered

Sorry to leave y'all hanging but life got busy. Things will calm down for me in about a week and I'll get back here more often. But for now I just wanted to answer a few questions I got about Mia's Nursery.

This wall bookshelf came from Pottery-Barn-Kids. I wanted to display the adoption and China related books. But wanted something to keep them out of her reach while she's younger and hell bent on destruction. LOL!
The wall quote is vinyl and came from this Etsy shop. They were actually sold as two different quotes but I really liked them together. I contacted the shop owner and we custom designed this to fit the space and in the font I wanted. She was awesome to work with! I highly recommend them.
The flowers are plastic. I got them here. The idea is to place small tacks in the wall and the flower snaps onto it. I've also seen some that attach with magnets. But I live in an old house with plaster walls. I couldn't get the tacks hammered in without bending them. So I hot glued the flowers straight on the wall. Seriously I did. One will pop off every now and again. But I just dab on some glue and stick it back on. No damage to the paint and I can move them around without leaving all the little tack holes in the wall.
The cubbie system came from IKEA. It's an open unit. The drawers and cabinets are add ons. They can be configured however you like. The line is called Expedit and they have all kinds of different pieces including smaller shelving that you can actually hang on the wall, desks that can be attached, etc. It comes in different colors, too. Very cool piece, super sturdy and totally inexpensive. I'm thinking about changing out the knobs though. They seem too modern with the feel of the room. We'll see.
Thanks so much for all the compliments! And if anyone has any other questions about the products or ideas in the room, just ask in the comments here. I'm happy to share info. :)

Monday, April 19, 2010

The Big Reveal

A few weeks ago, I started a post to reveal Mia's finished nursery. It got very picture heavy. Very. Which isn't actually a bad thing since so many have expressed interest in seeing it. But it was just too much for one blog post. So with that in mind, I decided to create a small blog just to document the project. Creating this special place for my daughter was a lot of work but totally worth all the effort. It's everything I've always imagined in my head. My dream nursery. It's my happy place. It renews my spirit, my faith and my hope that someday soon a little girl really will live here.
I absolutely love it!! I think Mia will, too, someday.

So without further adieu .....
Mia's Nursery.

Friday, April 16, 2010


There's a margarita out there somewhere with my name on it.
And I'm not giving up 'til I find it.
Happy Friday!

PS. Mia's room is finally finished. Stay tuned for pics on Monday or Tuesday.
It's freakin' awesome!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Disgusted *(Update at bottom)

Everywhere you turn people are talking about it. The Tennessee woman who put her 7 yr old adopted son on a plane back to Russia with a note basically saying she didn't want him anymore. Read the story here if you've been living under a rock.

I just don't understand what this woman was thinking. This little boy is not a pair of shoes you can just return to the store if they don't fit. He's a child. How could she possibly think this was a logical answer? To just put him on a plane with a note?? I don't get that. In fact, I'm quite disgusted by it all.

Disruption is the unpleasant truth in the world of adoption. We all know they happen. We just don't like to talk about it. While I personally could never even entertain the thought of relinquishing the child I've fought so hard to get, I can empathize with the desperation a family must feel to make that choice. I may not agree with it. But I can't pass judgement when I haven't walked in their shoes.

But this was NOT the way to disrupt your adoption. And quite frankly, I don't feel like she worked hard enough to get to the point where that was the only option left.

First of all, she only had him for 6 months. That's not enough time for either mom or the child to have properly adjusted to the changes in their lives or for this boy to have formed a healthy attachment to mom. Most importantly, everything I've read says she sought the advice of a psychologist but didn't have her son seen by one. With the behaviors she says he exhibited? Why would you not seek treatment for him?

The failings of her social worker and her agency are a whole other issue. But I blame her to a certain degree for not fully understanding what she was taking on. There's always a risk of behavior issues, attachment disorders, etc when adopting any child who has suffered neglect, abuse, trauma, early separation from a caregiver and/or institutionalized care. I'm concerned about these things even with the adoption of my infant daughter from China. But this absolutely should have been cause for concern in an older child from a Russian orphanage.

Certainly this woman should have educated herself. "Should have" are the key words in that sentence. I mean hell... just click above on the word "disruption" and you get Wikipedia's definition. Even if she'd have read that she would have been better prepared for the possibilities she faced regardless of how anyone else sugarcoated it.

I especially hate that the narrow minded people of the world are already throwing her single status out there as a reason for her failings. That because she's unmarried she didn't properly parent this child. Puh-leeze!

It'll be interesting to see how this all plays out in the end. But right now Russia is so angry they're threatening to suspend all adoptions to Americans. As a fellow waiting parent, my heart goes out to the families whose adoptions are in jeopardy because of this woman's actions. There's a letter here asking both the US and Russian presidents to ensure that intercountry adoption continues uninterrupted and to aggressively investigate and prosecute anyone involved in the abuse of children. Please consider signing it.

** Updated to add: She was apparently trying to adopt a second child soon after returning home. That story is here. This just makes me ill. The family is also trying to say their actions to send the boy back was on the advice of an attorney which according to this blog is not true at all. And this contact was made over a month ago. This just gets more and more ridiculous.

Friday, April 09, 2010

Party Girl? Why Yes I Am!

Ultimate Blog Party 2010
I'm always up for a party and since I've been in a blogging slump lately I thought this might give me some motivation. Plus I love finding new and interesting reads myself. So here goes...

The short version. I'm a single (divorced actually) mom-to-be who chose to build my family through an adoption from China. In 2006, the wait was about 12-18 mths from the time your dossier landed in China until they matched you with a baby. Unfortunately, after I joined the line it got slower... and slower and slower. I've been waiting 46 months. Yes, you heard right. Almost 4 years just waiting to become a mom! And I don't expect a referral until late this year or early next. Until I meet my daughter I keep myself busy being the super cool fun aunt to 6 nieces and nephews and the mommy to one very spoiled little Pomeranian.

Most of the really deep stuff about me you can find over in my sidebar under the section "The History of Krista". Everything from why I decided to become a single mom by choice, to why I chose adoption as the way to get there, to the story about how I almost died...but didn't, and the seriously hysterical story of how I delivered my sister's baby in her bathtub. Go ahead I know you want to read that one. LOL!

And if you scroll down the sidebar a little bit you can even meet my sister and her 5 children or my future sis-in-law or check out my very talented brother's photography hobby.

Occasionally I share funny stories about my job as a police detective. But sometimes I talk about the heartbreak of the career I've chosen. Mostly I just blather on about whatever floats my boat on that particular day.

So if you find something interesting here, dig around in the archives, get to know me a little and follow along as I continue on this journey to my daughter. Don't forget to leave me a comment cuz I'd love to meet ya, too. :)

And make sure to stop by the 5 Minutes For Mom blog to get in on the 2010 Ultimate Blog Party. It's a chance to meet new bloggers and possibly win some fabulous prizes. I'd love to win the Grand Prize- a Toshiba laptop! Can you believe I'm a blogger that STILL doesn't own a laptop? Ridiculous, I know.

My other top prize picks are the $150 shopping spree from Pedal Cars and Retro Collectibles or A Rocking Horse to Love cuz in spite of my daughter's overflowing closet she doesn't really have very many toys yet. And I'm totally digging the $450 Human Touch Foot and Calf Massager cuz it looks fabulous. They also have a lot of gift cards I'd love to win including ones to Target, Amazon, Restaurant.com, Disney Store, etc. Check it out. There's a lot of really cool stuff!

Monday, April 05, 2010

Starting the Downhill Stretch

It's official. After much stress, a heated battle, a formidable compromise and a few tears.... I'm finally DONE with paperwork. For now anyway. My last and final homestudy is complete, approved by the new adoption agency and has been received by USCIS. It's good for 2 years in the state of Ohio. So I should certainly have my daughter home before it expires in March 2012. If not, you'll be visiting me in the looney bin so my homestudy won't matter anyway. LOL!

My wonderful social worker (who also battled a bit with new adoption agency over their demands when they red inked what she thought was her finished homestudy) said the sweetest thing when we signed off on the paperwork. She said... "the next time I come over it'll be for the 6 month post placement visit". There was something a little surreal in that statement. Am I really that close to a referral?

Well ... yes and no. I'm closer than I've ever been. In fact, if China continues at this pace my prediction is December. Of THIS year. As in 8 months from now! I'm still not sure I believe that. And, of course, there's always the disclaimer that anything can happen in the rollercoaster of China adoption. Speed up, slow down. Who really knows? We shall see...

But the last homestudy is done. What a relief! I love just saying those words.... The Last Homestudy. I'll have to be fingerprinted again for USCIS before I travel to China because that will for sure expire. And I'm on the bubble for my I-171H (immigration stuff for my non-adoption friends). It expires in March 2011. But even if I have to renew again it should be pretty easy. The hardest part is done.

Done... and I'm happy.