I've been busy this week so haven't spent a lot of time on the computer. To say that I was shocked this morning when I went to catch up with the Rumor Queen would be an understatement. For those of you who don't know, this is the site that keeps us updated with what's coming out of the CCAA. Some of it is just rumors, hence the name, but a lot of it is true. She has a lot of inside contacts in the China adoption world.
Apparently the CCAA had a big meeting this week. The first bad news is that they're saying there are twice as many dossiers than paper-ready babies. So the wait is not expected to shorten. In fact, it may stretch longer. Which we always knew was a possibility but now there is more confirmation of that. Some agencies with summer '06 LID's are saying to expect an 18 month wait. I really hope that doesn't happen because that would push me into 2008 before Mia is home. But here's the kicker. They came out with some new regulations. Honestly, I didn't even read through them all because the first one knocked the wind right out of me. NO MORE SINGLES. The new regulations don't go into effect until May 1st, 2007. Anyone logged in before that is okay. So don't panic, Mia is still on the way.
But unfortunately, she will not have a little Chinese sister. Which breaks my heart. More than anything I want a sister for Mia. It's not even that I want to have two kids. I mean, I do ...but it's more about wanting a sister for HER. My sister is so important to me and I can't imagine having grown up without her. We drove each other crazy sometimes as kids but now we're best friends. I want this for Mia. I don't want her to be alone in this world after I'm gone. I'm not even sure if I could do it financially but I at least wanted to have the possibility. Now no more. Sure she could have a sister from a different country. That's still a possibility. But I wanted her to have a Chinese sister. Someone else in this family that looked like her and could share her heritage and culture. This was my dream. And now it's been stolen. I can't stop crying.
However, this is another sign that there was a bigger plan for me. If I had stayed on my original timeline, I would have missed the cut off date. (Remember this.) China adoption would not even be a possibility for me at all. Which would have broken my heart even more. I know there are other countries and other ways to build a family but my heart has always been in China. So thank you God for pushing me down this road even though I thought I wasn't ready. This is obviously where I am supposed to be. Thank you.