Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Another Roadblock

There's a rumor floating around today that the CC_AA is suspending all referrals and travel approvals for 20-30 days in response to the swine flu outbreak. They'll re-evaluate the situation then. Even though it's technically still a rumor... there are several Canadian and Spanish adoption agencies who have already received notification from the CC-AA. So why would this not apply to all agencies worldwide, right? I'm sure it'll officially be confirmed for the rest of us tomorrow or within the next couple days.

Hopefully this won't affect my timeline in the long run. When they shut down during the S.ARS outbreak they continued the matching process. Once they opened up again they just referred several big batches to get back on pace. So in theory, even though we won't see a May batch... we should see a double batch in June to make up for the missed one in May.

But we never really know what's going to happen with this process. That's what's killing me today. The uncertainty. Will this last 20-30 days? Or much longer? How strong do I have to be to get through this adoption process? How many obstacles will be thrown in my path? Why is this choice that I made in how to become a mother so damn hard... when others have it so easy? I know this is all a test. I know it is. And I know I'll be stronger in the end. A better mother. I'll love my daughter a million times more than I thought possible because of all I've endured to find her. My rational brain knows all of this. But right now in this moment my emotional heart thinks it all just really sucks.

And my heart is breaking for those who already have their child's picture in hand and will be delayed longer in bringing them home. That thought hurts me... so I can only imagine what it's doing to them. I'm so very very sorry for my girls who are suffering tonight. You know where to find me if you need me, ladies.

So today I can't be positive. Today I need to feel sorry for myself and sorry for my friends. Today I need to have this little pity party and wallow in it awhile. Just today.

I've managed to somehow hold it together thru my 12+ hrs of work... just barely. I'm counting the minutes until 8:30pm when I'll head home, make myself a cocktail, and have a good cry. Then tomorrow... I'll move on. Like I always do. We all will.

16 comments:

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

RQ just posted and it is not true...
I didn't think they would do this.. I think they are making a bigger deal of this flu then needed..
Our news just ran and that is what they are saying..
Hugs..
Hope everything picks up and everyone gets better from this flu thing..
"BIG HUGS"

Suzie said...

I agree - it sucks! I feel like I will NEVER see my daughter's face, let alone travel to meet her! Who would have thought it would ever take this long???

I also feel sorry for those that have photos and are waiting to travel. I can't imagine.

Mind if I cry with you :o(

Special K said...

No Kim...that's not what RQ says. It's still an R3 rumor. There is ONE agency saying they've contacted CCAA and found that it's not true. Only one.

There are SEVERAL Canadian and Spanish agencies who were notified by CCAA that it IS happening. It would make no sense and be completely unfair for those agencies to be told this but not have it apply to all.

But we do know that life is not fair. I hope it's not true. But the common sense I have is saying it is.

my3 kids said...

Sending you a big big hug girl.

Janice

Susie said...

This sucks big ones!!! I'm with you as well. I just barely got my head up from last weeks thoughts about how long the wait it taking and now it's on hold again!

I get so mad when I see mothers out there that are downright mean to their children, resent them for taking so much of their time and are terrible mothers.

I know like you that everything will be sweeter when we finally have them in our lives, but it still hurts to wait and wonder.

Mya said...

I remember when we first got loggged in Nov 2005, all the new regulations were rummored and the baby trafficing issues. I was scared to death and thought we'd never get our girl. I understand your fear. My heart aches for those waiting to travel and for those who are waiting referral. My prayers are with you all. It sucks....plain and simple! I wish it was so different. It shouldn't have to be this damn hard! Hang in there a little longer!
Hugs,
Mya

Carla said...

Sorry to hear there may be another delay. It does suck. Let's hope that if there is a delay, they will double batch June, like they have in the past.

((Hugs))

Michelle said...

I've become so numb to the whole process that this news doesn't even upset me. I have been feeling lately that this isn't really going to happen for us after all is said and done. I feel so badly for those awaiting travel right now. There can be nothing worse than seeing your child's sweet face and not being able to go get them. My prayers are with them.

Rhonda said...

Took the words out of my mouth. I'd say some jello shots, a good cry, whatever it takes to get through this crapfest is definitely warranted now.

Sandra said...

This SUCKS....

Catherine said...

((hugs)) This is SO hard!

Like you I held it together until I saw a precious friend and then briefly lost it in her arms. Some friends just do that to us...they're our 'safe place to cry' and cry I did.

No answers, no judgement against CCAA, just hurt that this is one more hurdle we all have to cross.

((hugs))

amy said...

sending happy thoughts your way

kris said...

The letter is posted from the CCAA on RQ. It's a little hard to interpret, but in one way it looks like it will be left up to the agency/family. Go read :O) Hope that's the case.

Referrals look like they will still come though.

And if travel is delayed, I pray it is only for a brief time. But it's as clear as mud, maybe the translation of the letter is a bit off.

"M" said...

It is just crazy that there always seem to be SOMETHING happening that slows things down. I am sorry and hope the rumor is not true. Thinking about you and all my buds.

Kayce said...

Yes we will get through...together! Hugs!

Lesa said...

A friend of mine arrived in China on the 3rd their time, and received her the same day.
They had lots of hoops to go through once in China. Taking their temps and photos.

Hopefully they will continue this way and allow the babies to still be referred.