On Monday evening I got a call from Martha, my adoption agency coordinator, who told me "The Call" (in which I learned info about the baby chosen to be my daughter) would be coming the next day. I was nervous and excited but somehow managed to fall asleep that night. Before I did I wrote a letter to Mia. This was the last day of my life before becoming a mother. I felt like I needed to talk to her about that. She'll read it when she's older.
I woke up with my stomach in knots. The peaceful zen of the night before... was now gone. I had a couple of meltdowns while trying to get ready for work. I'd decided since I'd taken so much time off recently and would be taking more time off soon that I needed to try to get some work done. Go ahead and laugh now. I'll wait.
I was actually an hour late for work because I just couldn't quite pull it together. I had to stop and just sit still a few times. Deep breaths and attempts to clear my head and calm my nerves. There were some tears. I had a million different emotions all bouncing around at once. Scared, nervous, happy, excited, terrified, happy, sad, anxious, happy. The anticipation of 5 years worth of hopes and dreams in this moment. Uhm yeah... I was a bit of a wreck.
I got to work and prepped my video camera. My partner was kind enough to be my stand in while I positioned the shot to make sure I'd be in the frame. That would've sucked if I chopped off my head or something. I hit the record button as a test run and he acted it out perfectly. Screaming like a girl, fake crying, throwing his arms in the air, repeating "Oh my God!" over and over. It was pretty dang funny. I threatened to actually show it... but since he was such a good sport, I won't.
And then I waited. And waited. And waited. But nothing....
Norman, my facilitator, is in California so I kept myself busy thinking with the time difference he just wouldn't be in the office until after 11am my time. And THEN I'd get the call. Except.... I didn't.
I'd posted on Face-book that The Call was coming. So I wasn't the only one waiting for it. All my "friends" were on pins and needles, too. My squad mates kept checking in to see if I'd heard anything. The day dragged on and on. And yes.... very little actual police work was done.
Martha had told me the night before she'd call and check in with me at 3pm our time. She's in Florida so we're in the same time zone. When I finally heard from Martha ( a little after 3pm) I was now home from work. She said she'd check with Norman and see what was up. I got a quick email from her saying she'd call me at 4pm! She also said I was going to get photos of my baby girl!! There had been some doubt initially. Normally the facilitator sends the photos overnight with the translated documents. I know! Torture, right? Like 5 years isn't long enough to wait!
My mom came over to keep me company as I paced the floor. I kept updating my Faceb00k page so everyone was in the loop. According to the comments there, I wasn't the only who didn't get any work done that day. LOL!
Finally 4pm came and the phone rang! I jumped up, hit the record button and prepared for the news I'd waited over 5 years for....only to be told that Norman was at lunch and would be emailing the stuff to Martha when he got back. Lunch! Lunch? Who takes a lunch in the middle of labor? Really? It was a bit of a let down but I prepared myself for The Call to now come an hour later as she had said.
Updated Faceb00k again. Cracked up over all the comments about the "lunch break". Y'all had me in stitches! I tell you... I was so glad to have those of you who were there following it on FB. It helped keep me sane. It helped me to pass the time. Because the clock had never moved slower than it did on April 5, 2011! And it made my heart feel so full to know how many people were as excited about the arrival of this baby as I was. Love!
Then an hour and a half later.... the phone rings again. It's Martha! Same thing happens...heart rate accelerates, jump up, hit record and before my finger is even off the red button, Martha is telling me to calm down because it's gonna be about 40 more minutes!! I updated my status again to let those of you waiting with me know.
But what I didn't mention at the time was that Martha decided to give me a little teaser. She knew how freaked out I was. She knew the anticipation was killing me. She knew I was about to lose it from the ups of the phone ringing and the downs of the stalling for more time. So she wanted to give me just one tiny little bit of information. One very important piece of information. My daughter's birth date!!
And I share that with you now. Forgive my moment of slight irritation with my mother who wanted a camera lesson in the middle of the whole thing. Since I had only just shown her several times how to operate it and then asked about 10 more times if she was SURE she knew how to operate it. But no... she couldn't figure it out. Insert massive eye roll here. LOL! Sorry mom. :)
My brain also froze momentarily when she said "I'm gonna tell you her birthday" and I forgot to put the phone on speaker. So you'll just hear my end of things.
My trip to Florida is very significant. That's why you hear me mention it. That story will come in another post. Part Two of The Call will come later also ..... when I see her face for the first time.
Thanks so much for all the support and messages of congratulations! My feet still haven't touched the ground.