Thursday, June 25, 2009

In A Mood

As I'm out on the front porch watering my flowers this evening, I see this little lady hanging around. Maybe she'll bring some better luck tomorrow cuz this week has kinda sucked. Maybe it's a sign. Maybe I'll get my referral soon. LMAO most sarcastically.
I spoke to my 21 yr old goddaughter on Sunday. We hadn't spoken in more than a year.... which has been par for the course the older she's gotten. She caught me up on all the news with her family. Most of it was truly disappointing. The news of her brother (my godson and my namesake) broke a little piece of my heart. The path his life has taken is one that completely contradicts with mine. The more I've looked into the situation this week, the more my head just can't really process it. No... I take that back. My head can understand why things ended up this way. But it hurts my heart. Bad.

And it brought on a major case of guilt. Guilt that maybe I should've been there more for them these last 5 years or so. I separated myself from their mother because I just couldn't deal with the drama and dysfunction. I tried to still be available for the kids but it became increasingly difficult. Especially as they became teenagers and weren't as pro-active in maintaining contact with me. Now that drama and dysfunction has clearly marked every one of their lives in a negative way. And it makes me feel like I should have done more. I need to figure out a way to let that go.

I'm upset with my sister. She knows why. Quite frankly my feelings are pretty hurt. She knows why. I don't really understand the dysfunction within my own family most days either. And I really hate being lied to. Guess there should be no surprise as to why I have trust issues.

The jackasses in my neighborhood have already started with the firecrackers. Which sets my dog off on the most annoying, barking, pacing, general freaking out rampage. I really hate it. And July 4th is still 9 f*cking days away.

The job has been killer this week. I'm so far behind on paperwork at this point it's ridiculous. I hate when it gets this way. It's overwhelming. I'll dig out sooner or later. At least until I'm back to a more normal level of work that needs to be done. I'll always have an open case load. Always. I'll never have one day where every complaint will be closed. Just the nature of the job. Constant and steady. But I really hate when I get this far in the hole. Things start to slip through the cracks..... and in my job, they shouldn't.

I started out this morning by stubbing my toe on the bathroom wall. Because I'm a clumsy idiot apparently. I mean, it's not like that wall hasn't been there for the last 12 years I've lived in this house. I ripped it open pretty good and it bled all over for a few minutes. I thought I'd broken it... but as of right now I think it's just sore. Oh and then I started my period. TMI? Sorry. Told you it's been a crappy week.

I heard Farrah-Fawcett and Michael-Jackson both died today. I watched her special last month and was very moved by her battle with cancer. And no matter how anyone feels about MJ's later in life eccentricities and his unacceptable relations with young children... he still was a major part of my tween/teen years. Just feels weird that he's gone at such a young age. And Farrah was part of that same era of pop culture. I idolized her flippy hair and loved loved loved Charlie's-Angels. Wanted to be just like them when I grew up. Uh... wait a minute.... ;)

But I did have a little laugh as I pulled the ladybug pic off my camera. I found this one from when Maryellen and Sophie were in town. It's actually a business in Cincinnati that's sole function is doing paternity tests. Catchy name, eh? Is that not hilarious? But what does that say about where our society has gone? That a business can survive and profit from men who don't trust their woman is only having sex with them and women who have had sex with so many men in about a 28 day cycle they're not even sure which dude it could be. Ridiculous. I especially like the "Who's the Daddy" slogan on the door though.
PS. It just occurred to me that I'm clearing suffering from major PMS. But I'm thinking you may have already picked up on that. LOL!


Diana said...

I wish we were a little closer then I could "bitch" to you about my sister over a BIG Margarita!!
I am with you on the fireworks. My poor dog is afraid to go out side at night as ALL you hear is Pop Pop Pop!! I wish I had 1/2 the money people spent on them. (and I am not PMSing:)
Hope you have a good weekend!!

Marla said...

OMG, RU MY KID.COM?!?! Seriously?!?! Laughed out loud, but wow, that is sad.

Sorry about all the other crap going on with you, girl, I hope things start looking up soon. I hope your poor doggy survives till July 4th, our crazy neighbors haven't started all that up yet, but I'm sure they will soon.

Hang in there!

GGHadden said...

Oh girl, be glad the moon is not full too! Sorry to hear your week sucks, just remember it has to get better! TGI-FREAKIN-F I have had all the nut cases I can deal with for one week.
I have such an appreciation for normalcy :)

A Beautiful Mess said...

Sorry you are having a tough week toots!

Better to get your period than have to take a trip to "R-U-My-Kid"

Have a great weekend!

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

Ok.. on the you might get a referral.. watch out.. I might be right some day...LOL..
Thought you might need a good laugh.. since you usually do that to me when I say WE are going in 2010..LOL.
Hope you have a great weekend..

Debra Sue said...

Oh dear, what a week. I wish I could tell you "things can only get better" but really Howard Jones is the only one who can say that with any authority.

I do hope things smooth out for you soon...

Carla said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Buckeyes & Eggrolls said...

Sorry you had such a sucky week. TG it's the weekend!

I totally hear you on the family front. I've had quite a few issues myself these past couple of weeks.

Totally LOVE the picture with the RU MY KID sign. And I agree, how in the heck can you have sex with so many different guys that you don't know who the father might be? I say CRAZY but I guess those ladies might say LUCKY..:-(

Kris said...

man i just wanna come over and HUG YOU!!! i hate PMS and falling out with my sister and i'm sorry about your godson and PURPOSELY took a 3 day weekend next weekend cuz DAMN the firecrackers in this neighborhood- drives me NUTSO and poor Boob already has a bad heart!

great photo. thanks for leaving us with a laugh :) sorry you are feeling crappy and pmsing.

Debz said...

Hope your week got better. Big hugz to you.

Love the sign on the door.."snort" Who's the Daddy?! a sad way.

Carol said...

hope the ladybug brought you some brighter days.....

k1 said...

Oh my.

Know what you mean about the dysfunctional sister (mine's younger) AND the never-ending case load AND the stupid firecrackers AND the period.

Where's the chocolate?

Kristy said...

Oh girl dont feel alond, you should have my big sister. But seriously I understand, her choices, her life, everything about her literally breaks my heart. People around me ,even my pastor tells me that I need to seperate myself because HE does not want us to keep allowing ourselves to be mistreated, but I dont know how to not care!

Sorry about your period....I got rid of mine a year ago and I LOVE it!!!! Everything will get better , it will just take a little time.

Have a great fourth, I hope it does not stress your dog out too much!1

Love, Kristy

Kristy said...

I just had to say two more things....I feel exactly the same way you did and you do about losing MJ and FF. I just hate that FF's death has been so overshadowed. And I wonder if our president sent FF's family a letter like he did MJ's family??? nuff said!

And on the stupid ass name thing, when I was in jr. high a really good friends family were really into stock car racing and there was a man in their pit crew and his last name was Holder. Before I go on let me tell you this many was always a dirty, grease in his fingernails, asscrack showing all the time, hairy , had a cig in his mouth all the time kind of guy. He scared me.....his wife gave birth to twin boys and he named them....Peter and Dick Holder!!!! That is just wrong on so many levels. Can you imagine roll call in class!!!