Friday, January 04, 2008

Random Thoughts

Feeling pretty good this week in spite of the dismal referral batch. Just trying really hard to stick my head in the sand and not think about it. That's about the only way I can deal with it right now.

For those who don't hang on each referral batch (meaning this is an explanation for my family), they've only matched through Dec 19, 2005. Just to put that in perspective, here's an idea of just how slow things have been. On Jan 3, 2007 referrals came out starting with the LID of Sept 9, 2005. So basically in the entire year of 2007, they matched LID's from Sept 9- Dec 19. My LID is June 14, 2006. Yeah... you do the math. Now you may understand why I've been so moody and depressed lately. And no.. I have no idea why it's taking so long.

But things are looking up. I have something fun planned for my birthday next month. Really looking forward to it. I'll be celebrating with some of my favorite people. More details later.

Tonight I came home from working both my jobs which was followed by a never fun trip to the grocery store to find my driveway had been shoveled. We got about 3-4 inches on new year's day. And no I hadn't shoveled yet. I hate to shovel and just didn't feel like it. So there's a note on my backdoor from the 10 yr old that lives across the street. Seems she had shoveled my driveway and salted it as her "good deed". I wonder what that means. Is it a school project? Something for church? Some parental punishment for misbehaving? Or just a true good deed?Whatever. It was just wonderful to come home to. So I'll have to do something to thank her for it.

I spoke to a friend yesterday who gave me the news that she's pregnant. I'm truly happy for her. I am. But yeah... it stung just a tiny little bit. I've seen plenty of people get pregnant and give birth since I started this process. And yet, here I still am.

We had an interesting conversation though. Her sister and bro-in-law ( also friends of mine) are starting fertility treatments next month. He has an issue where his swimmers can't get to where they need to because of a blocked tube or something. They've made no secret that the only way they could ever get pregnant was with medical intervention.

Anyway, they got a call from someone who is a mutual acquaintance of all of us asking if they'd be interested in adopting a baby. Seems this person's teenage niece was pregnant. They declined since they want to try the pregnancy route first.

My friend was telling me this as a way of hinting that maybe I should call this mutual friend myself. I thought about it. For all of about 2 minutes. I just couldn't get past the feeling that I'd be abandoning Mia. Cuz no other child can be my daughter waiting in China. I've dreamed of her for so long that I just can't picture our family any other way. Does that make sense?

But it was reassuring in the way that it again showed me that I need to just be patient and stick this out. I was put on this path for a reason. I'll get to the end of the journey eventually.

Nothing much planned for the weekend yet. Just cleaning, organizing, continuing with the redecorating that's going on around here. Maybe I'll pop over and see the T's at some point. Hope y'all have a great weekend. Do something fun.

11 comments:

Sandra said...

It makes complete sense that you see your family with Mia only... I totally get that!

I hope you will have a great time on your birthday. When is it??

Isabella's Mommy & Daddy said...

I totally understand where you are coming from...
Sounds like you are going to have a Great Weekend..
I have to work.. since I was off from Dec 22- Jan 3...
Oh well..
Hugs to you girly..
Can't wait to see what you are doing for your B-day...
I am sure it is going to be the best...
For the Best..
Take care

Daniella said...

I totally get it - your daughter, Mia, is in China as is my daughter Mimi. I have had many comments, suggestions, etc. for us to do other things to have our daughter and it always comes to my daughter is in China. Have a wonderful weekend.

Doris & Dan said...

For us, our future is in China. We just have to bit the bullet and wait. We will do what we need to have our daughters with us.

Have a great weekend. You deserve a break, baby!

Keep smilin!

aggies said...

You have T's.. I have have M's.. Just realized that.. Funny..Mine are Merrill, Mark, Michael, Madison, and Morgan....

Traci
LID 5/18/06

sea star said...

Well I was feeling happy till you so kindly recapped the CCAA's lack of matching in B&W. Geesh.

I'm still working on celebrating my b-day with some good friends. Why don't you just email the hubs for me? ;0)

Joannah said...

Hang in there, Krista. You're on the right path.

redmaryjanes said...

I totally get it too. My heart is set and waiting for my little girl in China.

And I'm really proud of your 10 year old neighborgirl!

Briana's Mom said...

You are definitely on the right path. Keep staying strong!

i-Con said...

Hmmm.....we've all got some gnarliness rattling around in our waiting heads. I'm glad we'll get to let some of that steam off in a few weeks.

Kayce said...

Love your neighbors good deed!

Keep the faith!