What was I thinking to let the doctor schedule this surgery for Friday the 13th? Don't they know how bad my luck has been when it comes to this kind of thing?! I really don't need any added superstitions.
I have to be at the hospital in 6 hours. So why am I still on the computer? One word.... denial! I can say "I'm having surgery" all I want. Because they're just words falling outta my mouth. There's no meaning behind them as far as I'm concerned. Because I refuse to let my head process what those words signify. I started to a little bit yesterday when I was discussing things with my Lieutenant. And I started to hyperventilate a little. That PTSD just has a mind of it's own and pops up at the most inconvenient times. Yeah... it wasn't good. So I decided to go back to my happy, disconnected place until I absolutely have to face things. Which will be in about 6 hours! Oh crap... make that 5 hours and 50 minutes. But it's okay. I can handle it. I have valium. LOL!
So please say a few prayers for me that all goes well. And that I don't freak out too bad. It's just a minor little outpatient thing to fix some torn cartilage in my knee. I don't think the doctor can kill me doing that, right? (insert nervous laugh here)