Things I Learned This Weekend

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

• You can ALL be right by Del-ta.... but they're still lost and can't find you.
• Giant dog beds are less expensive in Florida than in Georgia.
• But everything else costs more unless you have a Cost-co in the neighborhood.
• No amount of folding, squishing or duct taping that dog bed will make it fit in your carry on.
• No matter how hard you tried in the store to convince yourself it would.
• It's not as warm in paradise as one might think.
• Video taping your friend's snot secretions is really funny when you're a little liquored up.
• And posting the video online seems like a really good idea after a few more cocktails.
• But even with over 200 people watching it only a handful are brave enough to comment.
• So maybe it wasn't that funny after all.
• Yes... we checked the sitemeter.
• Lugie hocking is NOT sexy... no matter who you are. I'm just sayin'....
• Apparently, you can get "all nervous" when being watched using a neti-pot and have to start over.
  
• Some people can handle all types of bodily functions but when you mention mucus they dry heave. And it's hysterical to those who don't.
• Others have the same reaction at the site of someone brushing their teeth.
• You can say you only had one drink if you choose the size of your cup wisely.
• The Real Housewives are very entertaining..... just like a good train wreck.
• Even if you have different beliefs, you should show John Mc-Cain some respect cuz he died serving our country. Wait.... no, he's still alive.
• You can get married to a 4 yr old.
• But the honeymoon is over when your mother-in-law incites a tantrum by making your husband turn off Willy-Wonka and go to bed.
• When you're on the bubble for a referral, you could easily develop a bad case of carpal tunnel from constant checking of RQ on your laptop or cell phone.
• Has it been an hour yet? Maybe we should look again....
• Apparently, I was the only person on the planet NOT on Face-book.
• My friends took care of that..... but I'm still very confused by it all.
• Apple pie is a healthy breakfast because it has fruit in it.
• In paradise, you can buy liquor at a Wal-greens. 24 hours a day. 365 days a year. That's awesome!
• It's possible to lose a tampon. After it's been inserted.
  
• Kids lunch bags can be multi-functional when used as a cocktail cooler.
• The sign at the beach had a picture of a martini glass with a line through it.
• Which means a rum and Coke is okay.
• Pand-ora bracelets are a contagious illness. If you touch one, you get it.
• Kissing palm trees is only a reminder of how much we missed her on this trip.
• How many times can one person talk about doing laundry? Seriously?
• Sea Star makes you work for your room and board by cleaning the clubhouse.
• But she is damn talented with her drunken no directions and no tools needed vacuum assembly skills.
• Are those sunglasses real?
• There are no oil marks on the road in Sea Star's neighborhood. Or are there?
• Can you airbrush my ass a little smaller and remove the guy in the background please?
• We tried to convince her to shave those legs, BD. We know how much you missed her. No.. I mean we REALLY know.
  
• Your "online" friends ARE your real friends! In spite of what some snarky teen thinks.
• The flight attendant can be quite snippy when you're the last two people to board the plane.
• But the other flight attendant might of been Harvey Fire-stein who was quite comical with the jokes in a strange grovely voiced southern accent.
• Choo choo.....