Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Questions Answered: Part 4

From this post..... Ozimum asked "How did you come about naming your daughter MIA? (which I adore, by the way!)"

Right after I mailed my dossier off to my agency, my family and a few close friends told me that I should name my daughter. They thought she'd seem more "real" to all of us while we waited for her. I agreed.

I had a list of my favorite baby names. You know, the one that every girl has hidden inside her head that she's carried since she was like 14 or so. You know... about what your imaginary kids would be named someday. (C'mon, admit it. We all had one.) So I started trying them out. But none seemed to work.

For one, I have a difficult last name. It's hard to find something that flows with it. But more importantly, as crazy as this sounds, those names just didn't fit her. Now I say crazy because I don't know who she is, what she'll look like and I'm pretty sure that even now ... over 2 years later... she's probably still not even born yet. So how could I say these names don't fit, right? I don't know. They just didn't. When it was time to assign one of my favorite imaginary kid names to what will be my very real daughter, they just weren't her name.

So I started over from scratch. I started going thru baby name books and making lists. I narrowed it down to my favorites. They were "Chloe", "Addison" and "Mia". Her middle name had always been "Renee" to share with my sister, Carla Renee. My nephew, Teagan Christopher, has that middle name after me. And her other son, Travis Ryan, shares his name with our brothers. It's a sibling thing, I guess. Anyway...back to the story.

I eliminated Chloe pretty quickly. There was a very bratty little kid I was dealing with at my second job that ruined the name for me. Plus years ago I named a dog that name and was having trouble getting past that. For awhile the other two names were neck and neck. I liked them both equally. I couldn't decide. But then I looked up their meanings.

Addison means "son of Adam". Hmmm.... that didn't seem to work. Then I found out that Mia means "mine" in Italian and Latin. That sealed it for me. I thought it was especially meaningful since I'd be solo parenting her. In essence, she'd be all mine.

So in May of 2006 she became Mia Renee. I'll also include a second middle name to somehow incorporate part of her Chinese name. But lately, I've started to wonder if I should change her name.

For two reasons. I didn't want a name that every other kid also had. So back when I was deciding which to choose, I asked everybody I knew if they knew anyone named Mia. Or if their children went to school with anyone named Mia. Nobody did. So I assumed it wasn't that common in my area, in spite of what the "popular baby names lists" said.

But then I became immersed in the Chinese adoption community and realized that it's an extremely popular name for adopted Chinese girls. Just wonderful.... but I'd already committed to the name at that point. I decided it didn't really affect my "real life" because most of these other Mia's I've become aware of are on the internet and are spread out all over the country. Not actually people I'll interact with every day. Or so I thought....

Herein lies the other reason I'm recently doubting my name choice. Shortly after my log in date, I met another single adoptive mom who I've since become very good friends with. Christine lives about 5 minutes from me. Her daughter calls me "Tia" (aunt in Spanish... cute, eh? LOL!). I see us being friends for a very long time. Well, her daughter is from Guatemala and also named... you guessed it... Mia.

My best friend's daughter is named Peyton. Obviously, I'd never even consider naming my daughter the same thing. Or if another friend had picked out a name for their unborn or not yet home adopted child. I wouldn't steal the name. Just couldn't do it. You see my dilemma?

Christine isn't concerned by it. She says that it shouldn't matter. If my daughter were home before we'd met, I certainly wouldn't consider changing her name at that point. She's right... in a sense. But the fact is that she's not here yet. So I still have the option. And I've been contemplating it.

I've been really conflicted though. Because her name has been Mia for over 2 years. I have so many things associated with that name. Gifts from people, clothing, an expensive custom made Chinese calligraphy with both our names, art work for her nursery, Christmas ornaments and a stocking, a Build-a-Bear her cousin's made for her, donations to Half the Sky made in her name, MY BLOG for cripes sakes!!!

But I realized I didn't want to keep that name out of obligation to these mostly material things. I could let all of that go if I needed to. Or somehow change the name on some of those things. I wasn't sure how I'd handle the scrapbook for her "100 Good Wishes Quilt" though since so many of the wishes are addressed to Mia. But I knew I would figure it out if I had to.

For the past couple weeks, I've been toying with the idea of changing it. I've been giving this a lot of thought. I've been laying awake at night thinking about it. A few days ago, I said out loud to the universe "tell me if my daughter's name is supposed to be Mia." Since then I've had little whispers. Wanna hear some?

A little pop up ad at the top of my e-mail account for days advertising custom printed M&M candies. Guess what it said? Yes I took a picture because it was just that profound to me. It says "Mia's made a splash!"

A circular that came in the mail. Look at the name on the shoes. Took a picture of that, too. All coincidence? Or my answers from the universe?
Most importantly, every other name I've tried on just doesn't give me the same feeling. I've been saying them out loud and having conversations with them. For example... "Chloe, go pick up your shoes" or "Addison, do you want a bedtime story?" just doesn't give me the same flutter in my heart as "Mia, it's time for dinner." Seriously. Sometimes you just have to practice. That's part of the luxury of living alone. You don't look like a crazy person when you talk to yourself. LOL!

It's also a little curious that Ozimum asked this question and then a few days later she and I exchanged e-mails about my confusion on whether to keep the name or not. Hmmm... weird timing?

When I started typing this post out to answer her question, I was 99% sure I was sticking with the name Mia. But something in me decided to save the post before it was finished and go look up the meaning of my favorite names again. Not sure why. Just felt a desire to do so in that particular moment. When I googled "baby name sites" I found a different one. One I hadn't stumbled across before. It had a meaning for the name Mia I also hadn't ever seen before. It stopped me in my tracks. Because it couldn't be any more perfect. This is what it reads.

Mia : It's source is Miryam, a Hebrew name meaning "wished for child".

Now suddenly, without a doubt, I'm 100% sure. My daughter's name is Mia. You can't ignore the universe, right? LOL!


OziMum said...

That was odd, hey? That I asked how you chose her name, then within a couple of days, I read you were doubting it!!! hehehe!!!

When you are with Christine and Mia, you could devise (or the girls might!) devise their own nicknames for each other - to differentiate between the two?!!

I love her name. Mia Renee has a beautiful ring to it. Her name will be italian, french and chinese! I love the hebrew meaning. It's funny how little things can "seal the deal", hey?!

Briana's Mom said...

You are absolutely right! Mia is the perfect name! Definitely can't ignore the universe.

Diana said...

I think you answered ALL your questions about her name..PERSONALLY, I LOVE the name and am glad you are keeping it:)

TBG Happenings said...

There is no arguing with the univierse.....well you could but gaaaaw that would be exhausting:P

Mia it is!

Sandra said...

The Universe is never wrong. I just love how it always sends you answers to your questions!

Ava's family said...

You got your signs from the universe....No doubt about it!! I LOVE the name Mia btw.

Headmeister said...

You totally got the signs - a LOT of them, too! Loved this post, especially the ending :)

Joannah said...

What a great story to tell Mia someday!

Daniella said...

Definitely don't mess with the Universe :) So funny how many bloggers are re-thinking their names. I recently was doing the same thing but same for us - our daughter/sister is Mimi as Joseph reminds me daily. I threw out the name Meridith the other day and he couldn't say it - Miranda Rae (Mimi) it is :)

3D said...

Very cool coincidences that are def. a sign. I have 2 pairs of shoes that I bought when I saw they were named Daphne...and they are my most comfortable shoes!

I love the name Mia!

Keep smilin!

P.S. Miss you!

Tanya said...

WOW! You have lots of reasons for naming her Mia. That's one of the best things about being a single mom in my opinion. No one can tell you they don't like your choice (well... they can but you can just ignore them).

I ruled out a lot of names right from the beginning because I don't care for nicknames so anything that could be shortened was out. I also wanted something easy to pronounce and spell since people seem to have problems with my last name.

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

Don't be messing with the Universe... To be honest.. if I would have known the blogs I know now.. I would have named Isabella , MIA.. I LOVE That name... But She is Isabella and I could never change it..
I think Mia is a Great choice..
Glad you are okay with it now...
Have a Great Week..

Shannon said...

Love it.

Catherine said...

Mia it is! And what a beautiful name for your precious daughter!

Not that my opionion counts at all but to little 'ole me...your daughter is Mia. Not sure if it's because your blog has it in the name or what it is but Mia just seems like the perfect name for your baby girl. Should you have chosen to change it I would have quickly moved on to call her by her new name but I'm glad you've kept it...and that you're sure now that it's what you should do. Ah, peace is a wonderful thing!

Mia it is...and I cannot wait to see the beautiful little face that adorns the little girl who already holds a special place in my heart as she's your daughter.

JoAnn in NJ said...

What a sweet story and I too never doubt the universe!

That was a big reason I didn't name our girl before we saw her photo although for a long time she was mentally Grace to me (so glad we didn't go there!)

Once you see that adorable face, her name will be melded forever as Mia Renee (Chinese Name) Hard last name to pronounce!

Angela said...

So glad you've decided to keep it, I love that name!
Could you do me a favor and ask for signs for my girls name? Me and hubby don't agree!

Noemi said...

Oh I just love this post! Yup you are right! All the signs are there... She will love hearing the story of how she was named when she is older. Mia Renee sounds perfect!

kris said...

I was getting nervous there when you started tossing around changing it, cuz to me she IS Mia! Glad the universe agreed with me :) Great story though!

redmaryjanes said...

I love Mia, it is beautiful. We also have chosen a very popular name, Sophia. I love it, is is my girl...so I am not changing it.
And with the meaning of Mia...it is fate.

Sheri said...

I LOVE the name Mia Renee!! I'm glad you're sticking with it, too - your reasons are all charged with emotion and meaning.

I'm also single - with two daughters from China: Mirielle Renée and Maelynna Quinn. Choosing their names was one of the best parts of the Wait. "Mirielle" came to me in a dream less than two weeks after I found a Singles quota - I learned 10 months later that it means Miracle/Miraculous. Knowing her name, "Miri" meant so much to me during the wait. I did have to defend my choice - the typical spelling of Mirielle is Mireille - but that's too difficult for Americans to pronounce, and anyhow, both spellings are used in France and Italy. Miri sounds a lot (too much) like Mary - so she has to (will always have to!) spell it so people get it right. Oh, well, my Mom did the same thing to me, and it hasn't ruined my life!!

I didn't know Maelynna's name until after I saw her face - again the name just came to me, within hours of receiving her Referral photos. However, I agonized for over a year trying to choose her name - I wrote interminable lists, did extensive research... and nothing was right. I wanted a three syllable name starting with "M" that was unusual and MEANT something. Maelynna means "beautiful cascade" and its genesis is the combination of a family middle name "Mae" (beautiful) with my middle name "Lynn" plus the final letter "a". I was a bit worried about her nickname, "Maely" because it is so common among Chinese girls (adopted or not), plus the spelling is, again, unusual.

But I have no regrets - both my girls names are beautiful, and different, and perfect for them.

Renée is my sister's middle name; Quinn (wisdom/wise) is for my beloved great-aunt - I always knew my daughters would have these as their first middle names.

Did you know Renée means "Rebirth/Reborn" in French?? So, your "Wished for Child" has been "Reborn" to a new and different life when you adopt her. What could be more perfect??! Here's hoping your Wait for Mia Renee is over sooner than you expect, and that she soon is safely home in your arms!!


Elisa. said...

You threw that question out there and you got your answer!!
Mia is perfect!

Sam said...

You have your answer! You chose the perfect name for the perfect child chosen for you!

Chani's Mama said...

Mia is a beautiful name and being 100% sure makes it a perfect fit.

Lindsay said...

I totally identified with your uncertainty over your daughter's name. I think every mother-to-be goes thru it!

And no doubt you got your signs!