Tuesday, February 05, 2008

How Did I?

Many of you have asked how I've been able to lose over 15 pounds in only 4 weeks of dieting. And with no exercise yet either. Well the secret is, I started smoking crack.

Now don't call my social worker. It's a joke, people! I'm just kidding. Geez.. lighten up. Oh and no offense to any actual crackheads out there who might be reading this.
(Gawd let's hope that's not the case.)

The truth is that I started taking a diet supplement. You've probably heard of it. It's called Alli* .

I was a little leery at first. I've heard the scary poopie stories circulating. And when I read on their website that you should stick close to home the first weekend you start it in case of... errr... "accidents" and that you should wear dark pants to work and maybe bring an extra pair in case of ....errrr... "leaking", I was like Hell No! I have enough poop issues of my own, thank you very much. I don't need any help with that.

But I have a friend who is taking it and lost over 40 pounds in like 3 months! (Hi Lee Ann) She told me all the good and bad about it. So I started to re-think it. Maybe I could try too?

The truth is that towards the end of the year I'd really lost control of my eating. I was constantly eating in response to my emotions. I'm sad.... how about I order pizza? I'm depressed... hmmm ice cream sounds good. I feel pretty good today... let's celebrate with a cake. You get the idea. I managed to put on about 20 pounds between Sept and Dec 31. Now that's in addition to the extra junk in the trunk I was already carrying, mind you.

I decided that I really needed something to put myself in check.
I seriously needed some consequences for bad eating. And if it'd help me lose weight faster than why not try it? So I did.

The pills work in your digestive tract to block the absorption of fat. They're not like other diet pills that make you feel wired, all jittery and shaky. I don't feel anything at all. They guarantee that you'll lose 50% more weight than you could on your own. Which means that if you could lose 10 lbs thru diet and exercise, then you'd lose 15 by also using the pills.

As long as you follow the program and don't go above your allowed amount of fat grams, you're not going to have poopie problems. I'm allowed 19 grams of fat per meal (including snacks so you need to adjust your numbers if you're a snacker) and 1800 calories a day. That's based on my current weight. It'll adjust down a bit once I lose some. I've only had two "incidents" so far and both were my own fault.

The first time was because I hit my 19 fat grams at dinner. Exactly. I'm usually under. Apparently, I was too close to the threshold cuz about 12 hours later I paid the price. Let's just say that things were ugly. And would've been uglier had I not been only 5 minutes from home. The second time was on Saturday. I had pizza for dinner. More than I should have. I was planning to eat the pizza so didn't take any pills after breakfast. I didn't have any emergency runs to the bathroom ... pun intended.... but I felt very crappy all day Sunday... again pun intended.

Anyway, the last four weeks have gone remarkably well. I love this stuff and plan to continue taking it until I get to my goal weight. Well, actually there are a few out-of-town weekends planned over the next 6 months that I plan to skip it. But the rest of the time I'll be good. This is exactly what I needed to convince me to eat right. I needed some dire consequences. Quite frankly, I'm terrified of pooping my pants in public. So that keeps me in check. LOL!

I highly recommend it for anyone trying to lose weight. BUT... you HAVE to be commited to a low fat diet plan or you'll pay dearly! This isn't something you can cheat with. Even though I skipped my lunch and dinner pill on the pizza day, there was still enough left in my system to give me a nice little stomach ache the next day.

But the stomach ache was a good lesson. Next time, I'll choose more wisely. That pizza won't look as yummy when I realize how bad it's gonna hurt. If I can do this, anyone can. So good luck in your weight loss quest and may the force be with you!


Wendy said...

Good for you girl! I am glad you are doing so well on that. I know you are probably feeling better already.

Angela said...

Yeah, I WAS DOING GOOD on my diet before Christmas, and then bam, my whole schedule got messed up, could not walk the dog every night, and here it is February, and I have yet to start it back. I'm scarred to get on the scale, I don't want to know if I've gained back the 10 pounds I worked so hard to lose. I have been tempted so many times to buy this stuff, I just did not want to until I knew I could stick with it!
Good for you though!!!

OziMum said...

Todd went on a similar tablet a few years ago. He made the mistake of having wedges with sour cream at a party... ewww... it wasn't pretty!

Anything that says "Warning: may cause anal leakage"... has got to make you think twice?!!!

I'm so glad its working for you! The threat of a leaking butt, is great motivation!!!

Made in China said...

Wow, great job! I am trying to loose 10 lbs this month as I am heading on a beach vacay at the begining of March. I'm trying to do it through healthy eating and more excercise - wish I had know about this stuff before!!

Good luck! :o)

Debra Sue said...

I am so proud of you for taking the initiative. It sounds like you have a great plan going.

I have to admit though, as soon as I saw the picture, I thought, "Oh! She has big poop issues - how is this working?" Ha! Thanks for the explanation, you had me worried for a sec!

Keep strong, you're doing great!

Marla said...

Good for you! It sounds like it's really working for you. LOL @ OziMum's comment.

Doris & Dan said...

Good for you! Leaking buttocks region is def. a big motivator.

Keep smilin!

Julie said...

Oh my heavens this is just hysterical. I love your sense of humor about things.

Seriously the potential side effects sounds like what happens when you go on Glucophage (diabetes medication). Might have been worth it if you lost some weight.)

Congratulations on your weight loss and your motivation is inspiring.

i-Con said...

Well, shit! ;0)

Good for you, woman. I won't bring you that Ben & Jerry's then...those bastards are evil anyway ;0)

Headmeister said...


My only thought is... if you DIDN'T take the Alli and still ate well, would you have had the same results? Hmmmm....

I think it's GREAT that this is working for you! I'm just not one who would take anything that would make me more flatulent than I already am :P

redmaryjanes said...

I'm going to try it!

Joannah said...

Aside from the side effects, that sounds awesome. I'm so proud of you for taking charge of your health and doing something to reach your goals.


Isabella's Mommy & Daddy(Kim & John) said...

I think I might try it..
But I am kind of scared ....
Probably won't eat at all.. too scared..
Have a Great Week..
Thanks for sharing..

Sara said...

oooooh, I am so trying this!

Shannon said...

You crack me up! I am glad you have found something that works for you. Cheering you on! =)

Daniella said...

Been laughing through this post but on a serious note, that is awesome that you found what is working for you. When I got to my breaking point with my weight I too needed something that would keep me accountable and joined LA Weight loss and hired a personal trainer - what it was freaking costing, there was no way I was going to cheat or miss a session. I lost 30 pounds. I've since gained some back and am once again getting serious - I'm following everything I learned at LA and am training again on my own. Keep up the good work!

Two Kayaks said...

VERY funny!! I'd be kinda scared to try it, but if it works, then why not??

krj said...

You are one brave girl. With my IBS, I ain't goin' near this stuff! Congrats on all the weight loss though :O)

Wendy said...

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

Amie said...

oh.. I am too scared... but envious that you are so brave... You go girl!

Guess I am just going to have to do it the old fashioned way.. giving up my bag of hershey kisses a day.. my single serving quarts of b*n and j*rry's(why B&J, Why you gotta be so good?), no more #1 value meals at w*ndy's.(at least not for dinner after having one for lunch, right?- moderation?)

Good for you girl!


Noemi said...

I am so Glad this is working for you! I will try them too! We will be cheering you all the way girlie!