As I prepare to cross the threshold into motherhood, I thought it'd be a good time to explain some things. During this long wait, I've learned that while decorating the nursery and stocking up on baby essentials is important, even more important is the emotional health of my baby. In Mia's short life, she'll have gone through more changes and life altering experiences than most adults could handle.
While she may not consciously remember the events, she'll still experience immense loss, including feelings of grief, trauma and confusion. She's already experienced the loss of her birthmother and will soon experience the loss of familiar and comforting caretakers as well as the sights, smells, and language of her birth country. Her world will turn upside down. She'll struggle with feeling safe and secure and may lack the ability to trust that I will meet her needs.
I'm prepared to meet her where she is emotionally and progress on her schedule. I have to prove to her that I'll always take care of her and keep her safe. I need your support. In order to form a strong and healthy attachment, I must allow her to regress so that she has the opportunity to go through all the emotional stages with me... despite her chronological age. Although it may appear that I'm spoiling her, I've learned it's best that I meet every need quickly and consistently.
Until she's learned that I'm her mother, I alone need to be her primary caretaker at all times. It's essential that I always hold her, feed her, and do all of the nurturing. I know you're impatient to do these things, too. Trust me. I don't want to deprive anyone of loving my daughter. But in the beginning, I ask you to understand my need for you to step back and defer to me. You may wonder how long this will take, but the timeline is different for every child. I'll follow her lead and trust my instincts rather than worry about what society expects.
We've all been waiting anxiously for Mia to arrive but you have to remember ... she hasn't been waiting for us. She's about to be ripped away from everything she knows and loves. She may show her grief and confusion in many ways. I'm prepared to help her through it and prove that I am forever and this truly is her last stop. No matter what it takes.
I trust that as my family and friends you'll help me to do what's best for my daughter. I thank you in advance for your support and understanding. For more useful info about attachment check out this website a4everfamily.org