I'm so friggin' sick of doing adoption paperwork I can't see straight! I remember way back when... well, exactly 4 years ago during March of 2006 to be exact... when the "paperchase" was exciting. It meant there was a baby coming. It meant my life was about to change. It meant so many things. It was all new and fresh and wonderful.
I was happy to gather all the documents, make endless copies, sign this and sign that, find a notary, meet with my social worker, get fingerprinted, go have a physical and gush to my doctor about what it was for, have blood tests, actually write my true weight down on paper for people to see. Wait wait... I take that last part back. I was never happy about revealing that number. Oh and those needles really sucked, too. Okay so not everything was all sunshine and rainbow-ey back then.
But now... 4 years and enough pieces of paper that I've probably leveled a forest in Oregon later.... I absolutely HATE it all! I'm frustrated with this process and so damn sick and tired of waiting.... and waiting... and waiting.
I just finished my 3rd home study and every step of it just... quite frankly... Pissed Me Off. I'm sick of the intrusion into my life, sick of proving to everyone else over and over again that I'm worthy of becoming a parent. And I'm really, really over all the money. Seriously. I knew my choice to adopt was going to be an expensive one and I was okay with that. But I think this paying for the same things multiple times has just worn me down. Another $450 for this home study crap after just writing USCIS another check for $750 in October for the 3rd immigration renewal. It's bullshit. It truly is.
Plus I had to write a check to the new adoption agency to transfer my file back in November. Remember that? Because C2A2 decided to change the rules about being represented by a Hague accredited agency. Yep... I got screwed through no fault of my own just because I'd naively picked a crappy agency. And the new agency that I had no say so about, that I was told partnered with my old crappy agency and was my only choice to transfer to? Let's just say I'm not a satisfied customer so far.
All that paperwork I hate doing.... the new agency decided they wanted it updated. Practically my entire dossier. Seriously. So for the past couple of months that's what I've been doing. Paperchasing. Except now... all the joy has been sucked out of it. And why does my agency want a completely new dossier? To send to China? Uh no.... as far as China is concerned my life stopped back in 2006. (Does anyone else see the irony in that statement? That's deep.) China will never even see this new dossier. Neither will my own government. The new agency wants it. Just because they do. Good reason, eh?
I can't even imagine all the emotions I'll be feeling when I finally have this little girl in my arms and can focus on raising her.... instead of the endless amounts of paperwork it took to get her.