Thursday, March 25, 2010

I Loathe Paperwork

I'm so friggin' sick of doing adoption paperwork I can't see straight! I remember way back when... well, exactly 4 years ago during March of 2006 to be exact... when the "paperchase" was exciting. It meant there was a baby coming. It meant my life was about to change. It meant so many things. It was all new and fresh and wonderful.

I was happy to gather all the documents, make endless copies, sign this and sign that, find a notary, meet with my social worker, get fingerprinted, go have a physical and gush to my doctor about what it was for, have blood tests, actually write my true weight down on paper for people to see. Wait wait... I take that last part back. I was never happy about revealing that number. Oh and those needles really sucked, too. Okay so not everything was all sunshine and rainbow-ey back then.

But now... 4 years and enough pieces of paper that I've probably leveled a forest in Oregon later.... I absolutely HATE it all! I'm frustrated with this process and so damn sick and tired of waiting.... and waiting... and waiting.

I just finished my 3rd home study and every step of it just... quite frankly... Pissed Me Off. I'm sick of the intrusion into my life, sick of proving to everyone else over and over again that I'm worthy of becoming a parent. And I'm really, really over all the money. Seriously. I knew my choice to adopt was going to be an expensive one and I was okay with that. But I think this paying for the same things multiple times has just worn me down. Another $450 for this home study crap after just writing USCIS another check for $750 in October for the 3rd immigration renewal. It's bullshit. It truly is.

Plus I had to write a check to the new adoption agency to transfer my file back in November. Remember that? Because C2A2 decided to change the rules about being represented by a Hague accredited agency. Yep... I got screwed through no fault of my own just because I'd naively picked a crappy agency. And the new agency that I had no say so about, that I was told partnered with my old crappy agency and was my only choice to transfer to? Let's just say I'm not a satisfied customer so far.

All that paperwork I hate doing.... the new agency decided they wanted it updated. Practically my entire dossier. Seriously. So for the past couple of months that's what I've been doing. Paperchasing. Except now... all the joy has been sucked out of it. And why does my agency want a completely new dossier? To send to China? Uh no.... as far as China is concerned my life stopped back in 2006. (Does anyone else see the irony in that statement? That's deep.) China will never even see this new dossier. Neither will my own government. The new agency wants it. Just because they do. Good reason, eh?

I can't even imagine all the emotions I'll be feeling when I finally have this little girl in my arms and can focus on raising her.... instead of the endless amounts of paperwork it took to get her.


Kim said...

I sooo understand.. I am getting ready to do my 3rd set of paperwork.. but not sure what I have to do..I might have to redo and go Hague route.. which my social worker said was a lot more detail..MORE MONEY.. and now I am single.. I am with you my friend..
but I keep thinking of the end result.. that is what keeps me going ..
we need a money tree...

Kim said...

That so sucks, I'm sorry.

Carla said...

I'm sorry the crap continues. The end is in sight. Hang in there.

Suzie said...

I hear ya girl!! I just got another email yesterday from our wonderful agency with a ton of additional paperwork they want me to do. You are right - it's the paperchase all over again and it's not nearly as fun as it was four years ago!

Hang in there! Have a margarita (or ten) this weekend to help you through it!

wzgirl said...


I had to really keep my snark in check during the phone "home study update" with our uber-chipper new social worker. Most of the questions were asinine - I mean, why it is important to anyone where my sister is working? And, the last round of fingerprinting nearly threw me over the edge...seriously.

my3 kids said...

I feel for you girl...this is all so unfair. What they put us adoptive parents through and yet a 15 year old is aloud to have a baby and raise it without anyone stepping in..seriously there is something wrong with this picture. All I can say as a been there done it parent is hang in there because once that little girl is in your arms you will forget all this me it is true but still I would be feeling so angry too! {hugs}

Michal said...

Oh Special K!!!!!
What can be said?
I hear you!
I can not even imagine how frustrated you feel (Ok this post sort of gets me in the general neighborhood of how you feel).
The hubs and I were just doing some Immigration stuff 2 days ago and I looked at the fine print and such and I realized, all of the sudden and with horrible reality- just what you and all those families waiting for this long have had to do! More and more paper work and money - all of the time. Just sending things down this black hole.
Maybe I'm not helping? I mean, I want to make you feel better but I just can't say all of the hang in there stuff (though it is all true, you WILL get her, you WILL hold her) it's just that I want you to know that I get it. I am with you.
It sucks.
Major Sheep Nads.
Sometimes I have to explain things to Les about what we have to do and he will say something like "Why? That has no logic." Then I freak out on him. Almost none of this has logic.
You know? I am waiting about 4 months longer than I should b/c my SW took 7 months to get my HS done!!!!!!

dreamer said...

Ah, the joy of 4 rounds of paperwork for HS renewals here, so I hear you. Then there is the completely ridiculous part about the dossier update. What the hell is that about? My agency just asked for some to. I mean really? New financial status, proof of emloyment (my in state agency certified all of this in the f-ing homestudy update), new petition letter, and a shitload more. Took the joy out of 'the last round' and satisfaction I was starting to feel.

Donna said...

I hope it's the absolute last piece of paper you have to complete before you sign your final adoption papers in China. And I hope that's SOON!


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a Tonggu Momma said...

We are right there with you (well, ours doesn't expire until December because of a previous screw-up, but we are on pins and needles, waiting to see if we will need to). But it will definitely be the absolute last thing you will have to do. It stinks, but it's DONE now. Can you believe we are probably within about six months??? I've been telling people "in a year or two" for so long now, it feels weird to say "we will at least see her photo before Christmas and we might even be home with her then."

Kristy said...

I feel your pain sister!!! But it wont be long now, just hold onnnnn!!


Laurie said...

You're preaching to the choir as far as I'm concerned. Hubs and I got to take a day off last week and drive 4 hours to get fingerprinted for the fourth time!! It is just insanity

Shannon said...

I think I fudged...a little bit...on my weight... =)

Stephe said...

Okay, I haven't even finished your email but I had to comment and this should make you feel a bit better. I get the pissed off part. My third homestudy, well they claimed that "Delaware Law" prevents an "update" on and "updated" homestudy...aka 3rd you have to do a whole new one. Same work required/done as an know... open document and change the dates because nothing has changed...$1,200!!!!!!! I'm still furious about it. Hugs girl. Serious HUGS!!!!

Kris said...


this probably won't help, but you will one day look back and say: she was worth every freaking headache of bringing her into my life. because you'll know that you will do ANYTHING for her, including enduring this endless wait.

how i wish they were in June already.

Debbie said...

I am so sorry you are having to go through all of this again!!! I am so ready to see that baby girl in your arms!!! Keep smiling that day will come, can't say when, but it will come!! Waiting sucks!!!! Holding that baby, priceless!!!

Donna said...

I can't imagine what that's you're more than entitled to moan about it. All this waiting is insane, but hopefully it will be nothing more than a distant memory very soon!

Anonymous said...

I am right there with you !! I even am doing paperwork for a domestic adoption.. Another story..

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