Thursday, December 25, 2008

A letter to my daughter on Christmas


Dear Mia
Not a day has gone by since February 15, 2006 without thoughts of you. In fact, I've dreamed of being a mother for many, many years before that. But on that day, I began the journey to you.

I think of you often. I wonder when you'll be born. And where. I imagine what you'll look like, what your personality will be like. I dream of what it will feel like to see your face, look into your eyes, hold you in my arms. To finally be your mother.

I hope you let me rock you to sleep at night. At least for awhile. When you're ready, I'll teach you how to walk. But maybe you'll already know how. That's okay, too. I'll teach you your ABC's and how to count. I'll read you bedtime stories and tuck you in. I'll take you to the park and watch you laugh when I push you on the swing. In the winter, I'll introduce you to snow. And when you get big enough I'll take you around the corner to the big hill and teach you how to sled.

At Christmas time, we'll make cookies. Just like I have for so many years with your cousins. We'll drive around at night just to look at all the lights. I'll take you to the mall for your initiation into the traditional "photo op with Santa". I hope you don't cry... but it's alright if you do. We'll wear penguin pajamas and put out cookies for Santa. And Christmas morning will be noisy and crazy and chaotic.... after so many years of quiet.

I imagine you a little older..... as a teenager. Will you be an athlete? Or a bookworm? Maybe both? Will you borrow my jewelry? Will you tell me your secrets? Will you obey my curfew? Can I be your mother AND your friend like the wise 14 yr old, Peyton, advised me to? She told me to respect you and to always listen without judgement. That way you'll know you can always come to me with anything. I hope you will. I pray my love will lessen some of the hurts you'll have. And I pray that when it's time, I'll have the right words to explain your beginnings and how we came to be together.

I heard a song on the radio the other day about a mother on her daughter's wedding day. It made me cry. I can easily imagine you as a child. And knowing Peyton has opened up my imagination to think about what life will be like with you as a teenager. But I don't think I've ever really thought about you as a woman. Going off to college, maybe getting married, having children of your own some day. I hope that as you leave my nest we'll remain close. Maybe some day you'll even say that I'm your best friend. Then I'd know I'd done a really good job.

But for now, you're still just a dream in my heart. I hope that some day you'll understand just how much I've loved you all the years that I've waited for you. And I can't wait to know you. Because I'm sure I'll love you a million times more. Merry Christmas Mia bella ... my beautiful.
Love, Mommy

17 comments:

M3 said...

Beautiful Christmas letter...

Merry Christmas to you and to yours, and best wishes for a family- and laughter-filled 2009.

Diana said...

Beautiful!!!
Merry Christmas:)

Carla said...

What a sweet letter to Miss Mia. I know she will cherish these when she is older.

I just hope she is ready for the chaos that is her cousins.

Merry Christmas Big Sis!

OziMum said...

Have a very Merry Christmas. You're in my thoughts.

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

Merry Christmas girly..
Love your letter..
Hugs..

Donna -N- Andrew said...

Beautiful letter. Merry Christmas.
Donna

Traci said...

May you feel my hug this afternoon. A tight one with tears from both of us. I can't wait for that day at the airport.....simply can NOT wait.

Merry Christmas!

May your dreams make you smile today.

Loving you from Tipp City.

Traci (& Family)

A Beautiful Mess said...

Merry Christmas my friend.

Now lets take a minute and prepare yourself....there is no way your kid is going to come home at curfes:) xo

Miss you!

Ava's family said...

What a beautiful letter! Merry Christmas!

Wendy said...

Merry Christmas! I love the letter...it's beautiful.

Sandra said...

Snif... Beautiful.

Merry Christmas!

Sam said...

Merry Christmas,Krista!

Debz said...

What a beautiful letter to Mia.
Merry Christmas Krista, praying this will be our last Christmas without our girls.
Hugz
Debz

Buckeyes & Eggrolls said...

What a lovely heartfelt letter to sweet Mia! I sure hope she is home soon cause she has an awesome momma and family waiting for her!
Hope you had a wonderful Christmas and hope you have a spectacular 2009

Gail said...

Oh Krista,
First I need to dry my eyes.

What a beautiful letter to Mia.
You need to keep that somewhere safe.
The wait is torture at times. Never-ending it seems.
But the time will come when you do hold her in your arms and look into her eyes.
Until then hold on tight.
I will continue to follow you and share in your joy on Forever Day.
Happy Holidays
Gail

Elisa ( FC Monsters) said...

Such a beautiful letter, it made me weepy.

Donna said...

What a sweet letter to your girl...thanks for sharing!