A New Day

So after a good cry and many appletinis last night, I woke up feeling a little better. Some days you just need to really feel all that negative stuff, let it wash over you, envelope you, tear you down ..... so that you can get back up and start fresh. Today I'm starting fresh.

RQ is still back and forth whether the rumor I spoke of in the last post is true or not. There's so much conflicting info out there right now. Some agencies saying one thing, some saying the other. Who knows really? I'm choosing to hang on to a little sliver of hope given to me today by the princess in paradise. Her agency is saying things are just the same as they've always been AND they're supposedly expecting a package tomorrow. And hopefully inside that package will be Travel Approvals. I'm hoping with every ounce of my being that's whats coming for her... and I have a lot of ounces. LOL!

In honor of Earth Day last week I made a commitment to be a little greener. Did y'all see O*prah when she showed the garbage heap out in the ocean that's twice the size of Texas? Go ahead and click on that link. Watch the videos. It's heartbreaking. I sat there looking at that and just cried. This is what we're doing to our own planet. The planet my daughter will inherit. Not to mention how it effects us right now. Listen to the scientist in the 2nd video describe how toxic that stuff is and how every person on the planet is carrying some in their bodies now. (Just a warning the "f" bomb is dropped a few times on the 2nd video.)

This is scary stuff. So right then and there I decided I needed to make more of an effort to recycle. And I vowed to stop buying bottled water. For anyone who knows me, that's huge. I love Pr-opel. From now on little mix in packets ONLY! So to help ease myself into this "no water in packaged plastic" transition I purchased an aluminum water bottle. In hot pink, of course.
I already have some reusable grocery bags. If I could just remember to take them inside the store with me EVERY time. Instead of forgetting them in the car. I'm about 50-50 odds right now. But I think seeing those birds stuck in plastic bags will help me remember. The damage we have done to our planet is so very sad. Now is the time to act. I'm doing my part and I'll continue to make improvements in my lifestyle to work towards being a greener human. I hope everyone will.

Another Roadblock

There's a rumor floating around today that the CC_AA is suspending all referrals and travel approvals for 20-30 days in response to the swine flu outbreak. They'll re-evaluate the situation then. Even though it's technically still a rumor... there are several Canadian and Spanish adoption agencies who have already received notification from the CC-AA. So why would this not apply to all agencies worldwide, right? I'm sure it'll officially be confirmed for the rest of us tomorrow or within the next couple days.

Hopefully this won't affect my timeline in the long run. When they shut down during the S.ARS outbreak they continued the matching process. Once they opened up again they just referred several big batches to get back on pace. So in theory, even though we won't see a May batch... we should see a double batch in June to make up for the missed one in May.

But we never really know what's going to happen with this process. That's what's killing me today. The uncertainty. Will this last 20-30 days? Or much longer? How strong do I have to be to get through this adoption process? How many obstacles will be thrown in my path? Why is this choice that I made in how to become a mother so damn hard... when others have it so easy? I know this is all a test. I know it is. And I know I'll be stronger in the end. A better mother. I'll love my daughter a million times more than I thought possible because of all I've endured to find her. My rational brain knows all of this. But right now in this moment my emotional heart thinks it all just really sucks.

And my heart is breaking for those who already have their child's picture in hand and will be delayed longer in bringing them home. That thought hurts me... so I can only imagine what it's doing to them. I'm so very very sorry for my girls who are suffering tonight. You know where to find me if you need me, ladies.

So today I can't be positive. Today I need to feel sorry for myself and sorry for my friends. Today I need to have this little pity party and wallow in it awhile. Just today.

I've managed to somehow hold it together thru my 12+ hrs of work... just barely. I'm counting the minutes until 8:30pm when I'll head home, make myself a cocktail, and have a good cry. Then tomorrow... I'll move on. Like I always do. We all will.

Project Window Covering: Complete

At long last, I can finally check off one more " hurry up and get the home improvement stuff done before the baby comes home" project. It may take me a long time to finish things..... but at least I get it done eventually. LOL! The downstairs curtains are complete! Finally. Hal-le-lu-yer!

These are in the dining room. Sewn by my mother. Beaded by yours truly. I also recovered the seat cushions to coordinate. That's right....Martha-Stewart ain't got nothing on me! Oh wait.. she can cook. Disregard that last statement. LOL!
And behold the living room curtains! All 165 or so inches of hand beaded valance and all. I wanted the curtains to be the same fabric as the dining room but slightly different in design. I love how they turned out!!
These stripes look really beige in this photo. Hmmmm.... they're not. They're olive and sage greens. Like the couch.
To pull it all together the same beading is also on the lamps. It's miraculous what a woman can do with a hot glue gun.
I'm throwing in a photo of my now apple green nursery just to show how perfect the color is. I think it's gorgeous!! It's a little brighter in the photo than in person. Imagine white furniture and pops of hot pink accent colors throughout the room. I can't wait to get it done. Unfortunately, I think it may take me a couple months to complete. The chair I'm going to order takes a month to ship. My bedding won't be finished until mid-May. My yard and flower beds are in bad shape and the deck needs re-stained. I'm gonna have to put those projects ahead of the nursery for now. So stay tuned. I'll keep ya updated.

How I Spent My Sunday

Today I started painting the room that will someday be my daughter's. I decided to play with my new Flip some more. So here's a before shot of the room. Don't laugh too hard when I trip over the paint can. Yes.. I'm a dork. Oh and I realize I'm painting with a roller not a "brush".... but apparently I mixed up the words while filming. LOL! The video is a little shaky. It's not easy to hold that little sucker and roll on paint at the same time.

Here's a shot of the now apple green room. I managed to get 2 coats on and edge everything but the ceiling. I'll paint the trim, the baseboards, and the ceiling white. I know it's already white... but it needs to be brightened up. That room hasn't been painted in 10 yrs. I'll finish up another day though cuz I'm pooped!

The green looks different depending on the light. In bright sunshine it looks very limey. In the evening with incandescent light it looks darker. But I like it. I think with the fabrics and the other decor, it's gonna look awesome. Whadyathink?

Practicing

I bought a new Flip this weekend. Since I had to babysit the 3 youngest T's last night I decided to practice on them. But by the time the camera finished charging, only Teagan was still awake. So the plan was to film him reciting his ABC's. We even had a dress rehearsal before I turned the camera on. He was going to tell me his age, his name and a few other things. However, it all fell apart once I hit the record button. As you shall see.

Now don't you wish you had that 200 or so seconds of your life back? LOL! Thanks for indulging me as I learn how to record and upload with my new gadget. Oh and Carla... you might want to pay more attention to your son's nocturnal habits. :P

Across The Ocean

It's a beautiful day here in Ohio. Warm and sunshiney after an extra long and dreary winter. The birds are singing. My azalea is blooming. I think Spring has finally sprung. Perfect weather for a Friday. I'm heading out in a couple hours to toast the weekend with a margarita and a good friend. I hope the restaurant has a patio. I'd love to sit outside and sip my limey delicious-ness. Ahhh... life is good.

For anyone who hasn't been to T's blog to read this story, I've gotta repeat it here. Cuz it's a cool one. It all started with a comment left on her referral post from someone representing an organization that had sponsored Emerson's orphanage and had additional photos of her. T and I were chatting on the phone on Tuesday and she was expressing her disappointment that she hadn't gotten a response from them. I suggested she find a spanish speaker to call and inquire (cuz the organization is in Spain). Then it occurred to me that I knew someone in Spain! Well... sort of.

This is the cool part of the story. See... a few months back I got an e-mail from Carmen, a fellow single mom-to-be adopting from China who is logged in 6 days after me. She reached out to chat after reading my blog for awhile. She's from Spain!

So I e-mailed Carmen, informed her of T's dilemma, asked if she knew of the organization and would be interested in contacting them for her. She e-mailed back quickly (in spite of the time difference) and shocked us with the news that she's actually a MEMBER of the organization! With Carmen's help, T got her photos and additional info the Very Next Day!

Doesn't that just give you goosebumps? Whether you want to call it luck, fate, coincidence or another red thread to our daughters... something happened there. I believe that sometimes people are put into our lives for a reason. Who would've ever imagined that a friendly e-mail from Spain would have led to one waiting mother reaching across the ocean to extend her help to another mother. The world really is at our fingertips thanks to the internet.

I'm constantly amazed by the connections we make thru these blogs. It's remarkable. When I first started mine, I figured nobody would even read it. LOL! And now look. I "know" someone in Spain! I've traveled thru several states to meet alot of other bloggers. Almost 3 yrs later, I count a few of these blogger chicks as some of my closest friends. Who woulda thunk it? This planet really is a lot smaller than we realize.

I know I've said it in a few places and a few different times already... but thank you, Carmen!! You have no idea how much your help meant. I can't wait for the day when you and I can share our own referral pics with each other. Who knows... we could even meet in China someday!

LOL!

It was the rolling pin that clued him in, eh?
* Borrowed from funnyjunk.com

Random Bulleting

Since I haven't been around in a week and I have no energy to pull my thoughts together so that they make sense... I shall fall back on the old stand by....... bullets.

• I have crossed a threshold. I officially have less than 100 log in dates ahead of me. 98 to be exact. Referrals are now through March 8, 2006. What does that mean exactly? Uh... just that I'm moving forward in the line. According to this website, I'll get a referral in March 2011. However... I'm still guessing it's gonna be more like late 2010. Unless I believe her then it could be as soon as next week. Just kidding. You know I love ya Kim... but I seriously want some of whatever you're smoking. LOL!
  
• Speaking of log in dates... tomorrow marks 34 months. That's a long ass time. But according to all my recently referred friends and those recently home with their babies.... it's totally worth the wait. I believe ya. I do. But some days it's just hard to imagine.
  
• Someone recently said that I was in the tunnel. Can't see the light at the end yet. But at least I've stepped into the tunnel. That cracked me up. And feels kinda true.
  
• I decided on a paint color for the nursery. I hope to start rolling it on next weekend.
• I forgot to pay my state taxes. I did my federal awhile ago cuz I always get a refund. This year I figured I was only gonna get about $20 back from the state. Which apparently did not motivate me to get them done. So tomorrow I've gotta get that together. (Classic procrastinator, right? I could be doing them now instead of blogging... but no.)
  
• I wore my winter coat and scarf to work this morning. Spring hasn't found it's way to Ohio yet. Although nobody told my lawn that. The backyard desperately needs mowed. Every time I let Griffey out to "do his business" I swear he turns around and looks at me like "Are you kidding me? Break out the lawnmower already!". And just for the record... I'm not procrastinating that job right now cuz it's pouring down rain. So even if I wanted to, I couldn't mow. Not that I ever really want to.
• Speaking of work this morning, I was about 5 minutes EARLY. Did you hear me, people? I said I was there BEFORE the time I was supposed to be there. And Hell Did Not Freeze Over.
  
• Anybody watching Survivor? Is the coach guy driving y'all crazy, too? What a super flake. He's the classic case of a good looking guy who should never open his mouth. Well, sorta good looking. In a romance book cover hair guy kinda way, I guess. My fave is Tyson. His clever, witty snark is endearing. Reminds me of... well, of me... and several of my friends, too. LOL!
• I know many of you own the Flip video recorder thing-a-ma-jiggy. I'm planning to buy one soon. Any advice? Recommendations? What's the difference (besides price tag) between the Video, Ultra, Mino & Mino HD? Okay HD I imagine is a better picture quality, right? But what about the others? Can you really see any difference in the video?
  
• Spent Easter with the fam over at my sister's house. So I'll wrap this up with some cute kid pics cuz it's been awhile since I've shared any.
  

Tatum, Braeden and Teagan in line waiting to be released to hunt eggs in the backyard. I mostly talk about the T's here cuz I see them much more often than Braeden. But for those wondering... he belongs to my brother. He and Teagan are the same age. They're best buddies.

Yes that's a real rabbit. He's one of the pets in the T's household. He came out to play since it was Easter and all.

I just think this pic is funny. It's all the egg hunters gathered to discuss whether they think they missed any of the eggs or not. Which is why they're so intently gazing around the yard. Rarely would you ever see all five standing still AND in close proximity without bloodshed. LOL!

The two biggest T's climbing trees that are probably really too small for them to climb. See the rabbit hutch back there against the fence. That's the Easter bunny's house.

And one last adorable slobbery baby Tess shot.

More Babies!

Congratulations Pug Mama!
Look at that sweet little bald headed girl. :)
She's beautiful! So glad you finally know who she is.

And congratulations to Luna on the referral of Ava!
I just want to squeeze those sweet little cheeks.
She's a beauty!

More congratulations for Lisa on the referral of her Tate.I'm so happy for all of you!
Now hurry up Travel Approval!

Emerson Grace

It's no coincidence that this smiling baby girl with the word "happy" behind her in her referral pic has been matched to one of the most fun-loving couples I know.
Congratulations
Simply T and Simply J!!!
I couldn't be happier for you both.

But there's also a bit of sadness mixed in with our celebrations as two of our other homegirls who were also expecting referrals today will have to wait until Monday. Apparently, someone at DHL screwed up big time and delivered the package to the wrong place!! So after waiting 3+ yrs, this weekend will seem like an eternity. I'm so sorry Pug Mama and Luna. This should have been your day, too. :(

Decisions, Decisions

You wouldn't think finding paint the color of a green apple would be that difficult. And yet.....
It's somehow completely fitting that a margarita loving girl such as myself has chosen a color called "Spring Lime" and my personal favorite "Lim-o-licious". Now that's a fun word! Although... it's always been hard for me to resist "Temptation". LOL!

Contrary to this picture, they all do look very different in person. "Golden Pear" has way too much yellow undertone and was immediately eliminated as a choice. I'm undecided on the rest. I need to see them in different lights. And the bottom two aren't dry yet. That may make a difference as well. I'll live with them for another day or two and then figure it out. Hopefully.

For those curious as to why a girl who lives and breathes the color pink has chosen green for the walls.... here's the answer. This pic I swiped from HGTV's "Rate My Space" website is kinda the look I'm going for. I love the way the bright pink just pops up against that green wall.
And for those of you who just wrinkled up your nose and thought "OMG! That's way too bright." That's cool. Cuz this nursery won't be living in your house. It will be living in mine! ;)

And I'm not afraid of color. In fact, I crave it. You haven't forgotten what my living room looks like have you?